Friday, April 22, 2011

God Deserves ALL the Glory!

Almost 3 weeks ago Justin and I found out we were pregnant again. I was in awe and couldn't believe that it was happening. We decided to tell everyone we knew who would pray with us for a healthy pregnancy. Fear and worry tried to capture both of our hearts as we began, but after spending time in prayer and the Word, God gave us both an AMAZING peace. His peace that has no explanation, it just is. We said up front that God was going to receive the glory out of everything that happened. I will admit I thought He was going to be receiving His glory in a different way then what I'm about to explain to you.

Wednesday afternoon at school I realized I was beginning to spot and I couldn't get ahold of Justin. At first I was just going to finish out my day as quickly as I could, holding it all in, and rush home to go to bed. Thankfully I teach with several great members of my family and I knew one of them didn't have kids, so I talked myself into going to tell her. She prayed with me, texted me verses throughout the rest of the afternoon, and kept encouraging me. Justin returned my call and we prayed together. God's unexplainable peace returned.

Wednesday night I felt pretty good. Thursday I decided to stay home from school and just take it easy. Laying in my bed or comfy chair isn't nearly as stressful as chasing around 18 five and six year olds! Despite the circumstances Thursday was a very good day for me. I took naps and relaxed. Just kidding, that's not the good part. I was able to spend the day relaxing with God. I prayed, read my Bible, read some challenging Francis Chan, and listened to sermons. We had been on the go so much that I felt like I was loosing ground. Don't get me wrong, I was still reading and praying, but I didn't have the time to listen to those extra sermons and read those challenging words that were feeding my soul and propelling me forward. Late Thursday night we lost the baby.

When I was a little girl I was super upset about something. I can't even tell you what it was, I just know I was crying my eyes out in the bathroom. As I was sitting there I heard, not in an audible voice, but yet I heard, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." God's peace totally filled me up that day. God has reminded me of that day many times since, and yesterday was one of those days. I have made some really bad decisions in my life, but God never left, He's always been there to pick me up, brush me off, and set me on the right path. God deserves ALL the glory!

Since January God has been working in my heart on surrendering EVERYTHING. This is a whole other post in and of itself. I won't go into detail on all of that, but when we found out we were expecting, surrendering took on a whole new meaning for me. I told Justin God had plans to take us to the next level in our relationship with Him. Once again I was expecting to arrive at that next level in a very different way, but that's not how it worked out. God still deserves ALL the glory!

I don't know if this is true for everyone, but in the past when I have lost a baby it has been the most painful thing. White knuckles, can't stand up straight, bite on a wash cloth kind of pain. This time it was nothing like that. God had His hand on both Justin and I and He deserves ALL the glory!

Justin has grown so much in his spiritual walk since January as well. I am so excited to tell you that he has the very same peace that I have filling his heart. Neither one of us have been angry or mad at God. Yes we cryed together, but there is no anger! That my friends is a true miracle of God! God deserves ALL the glory!

The last, but most important reason that God deserves ALL the glory, is this special season! God gave up His Son, because He loved me so much! I only know what it feels like to give up a baby I've never met. God chose to give up His Son so that I could stand up and say, "My sins are forgiven, Jesus loves me!"

"He will never leave me nor forsake me!"

"HOLY HOLY HOLY
is the Lord God Almighty
Who was and is and is to come!"

"Worthy are You, our Lord and
our God, to receive glory and
honor and power; for You created
all things, and because of Your
will they existed, and were created."

There are going to be people who will want to tell us that things could have been different...if we would of just had more faith...confessed more...believed more...

No

"It is not how big our faith is. It's how big the God of our faith is"

The God of my faith is the creator of the universe!
He's the God that took the time to create a caterpillar that miraculously changes into a butterfly.
He's the God who created the human body.
He's the God who paints the sunsets.
He's the God who is all powerful!

"The Lord reigns, let the
earth rejoice:
Let the many islands be glad.
Clouds and thick darkness
surround Him;
Righteousness and justice are
the foundation of His
throne.
Fire goes before Him
And burns up His adversaries
round about.
His lightnings lit up the world;
The earth saw and trembled.
The mountains melted like wax
at the presence of the Lord,
At the presence of the Lord of
the whole earth.
The heavens declare His
righteousness,
And all the peoples have seen
His glory."

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