Signs of Life: May 2010

Justin and I would like to ask for your prayers over the next few weeks and months. We will be married 5 years the end of this month. (Can you believe it? Time is flying!) About a year after we got married we decided we were ready to start our family. Unfortunately things did go according to our plans.

I have been pregnant 5 times since we started trying and each pregnancy has ended in an early miscarriage. Our Doctor wasn't to concerned at first, saying that it was very common and we should just try again. After the third time she started getting concerned and we began to do some tests. All of my blood work and everything she has ordered has come back normal.

In March I began taking Clomid, a fertility drug. Because of some of the side effects of the drug, they suggest taking it for only 3 cycles. I started the last dosage of the drug this month. If this last try doesn't work, then we have an appointment with a specialist in Wichita to see if we can find some answers.

Please join us as we stand and believe God's promises to us. There is no doubt in our hearts that we are supposed to, and will have children.

As we have walked this road our faith and hope have taken a hit. We began asking and questioning God.
Is He hearing us?
Does He just not care?
What are we doing wrong?
Why can people who mistreat their kids have babies, but we can't?
Eventually we had to ask ourselves if we really believed everything we had grown up saying we did.
That Our God Reigns

That God Almighty is the Sovereign God of the Universe

That He truly holds the Whole World in His Hands

That He will never leave us or forsake us

That He is Faithful

That He said, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you."

That He said "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding"

We don't understand right now, but we do believe with all of our hearts that God is at work in our situation. We believe we are being molded into the parents and people that He has intended us to be since before the beginning of time.

James said "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

We are far from considering this "all joy", but I am praying that this trial will indeed produce endurance in our lives and the love of God will just pour out of our hearts into the lives of others.

A lot of times we seem to have the idea that since we're Christians life is going to be easy, as long as we do what God commands us to do. Paul however, reminds us over and over again that times will get difficult. Not only will they get difficult, but we need to "exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."

I enjoy reading Christian fiction and Dee Henderson is one of the authors I've read. In one of her books, one of the gals has cancer and is dying. Some of her siblings were not understanding how she could still trust God, after all He could heal her if He really wanted to. She made the following statement, "He's the I AM. He doesn't explain Himself. But I trust Him. If He heals me, it will be a gift I'll treasure. If He doesn't.....there's something gracious still in His plans for me, something that will bring Him glory. He loves me. I trust him."

No matter what God has planned out in our future, I know that He loves us and has our best interest in mind, therefore, I trust Him. Our baby is going to be a miracle that brings glory to the One True God.

Please pray that we would be able to wake up each morning with our faith and hope strengthened and renewed. That this medicine would work and we wouldn't have to go see the specialist. That my stress level would go down. That God would receive all the honor and glory through our lives.